What, for the molester, is a few minutes of cowardice unfortunately, is a lifetime of hurt and effects for the girl.
Many women got molested as children and even today as wives, the effects are still there.
Such is the severity of it that it changes the trajectory of the person’s life forever in how they interact and socialise with males. Even when they finally get married, intimacy with the husband can be a trigger for the past hurt which they had locked away somewhere unresolved.
How do you trust any man ever again? Yet, marriage is to be based on trust and as such many struggle in marriage with innocent spouses that may not even know of this past let alone know how to help or handle it.
With this, even though the molestation may be decades ago, she continues to be the victim sometimes without even realizing it.
The perpetrators tend to be close and can even be loved ones. More disturbing is when it’s a family member, the worst of which can be a father.
How do you explain to your self that the man you should trust the most as a girl, the one who should protect you is the one that molested you? How do you make it make sense? Who do you tell? What happens if you tell? And just like that, you decide to hold on to it and not cause further damage, assuming a responsibility that should never be yours to bear.
Marriage would seem to offer an escape, anything to get away so you’d jump at whatever offer comes but you’d mature and realize you need more from marriage and suddenly realize you are victim once again.
Nobody can fully understand what it feels like to be you but there are people who can help you navigate and make better decisions.
You are already a victim, your marriage should not suffer, you should also hurt no more.
This is not the easiest experience to share but with professional help, it can get better when you offload and fix, one step at a time.
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